When I went to sea in 1962, at the age of fifteen, my mother gave me an envelope filled with poems. She feared that the rough, male-dominated environment on board would erase whatever artistic potential I might have had. One of the poems was “If” by Rudyard Kipling, a heroic call to act like a man, regardless of the situation. I memorized it. The other poems in the envelope also suited the environment, such as Nordahl Grieg’s Water, which moved hardened seamen to tears and made them beg to hear it again and again, especially after a few rounds of Cuba Libres in dingy bars along the coasts of South America and the Far East.
But back to If. I still remember several of the verses by heart, probably because the poem spoke of becoming a man and touched something in me that longed for strength and wholeness.
Now, more than sixty years later, I find that the poem is just as relevant. Doing what is right has never been more critical, and that takes courage. Courage and strength that say: take your turn, and don’t give up, no matter how unpopular you become. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the ability to take back the initiative from fear. It means taking action even when you’re afraid, not because the fear is gone but because you choose not to let it control you. Fear says: wait, protect yourself, step back. Courage says, “I’m going anyway.”
It’s easy to dream, but there’s a long road between envisioning a goal and setting out to reach it. Even harder is staying the course when hardship comes. And it will come. You’ll face doubt, loss, exhaustion, and the temptation to give up or to become cynical. And you’ll have to face the big question: How do I reach the goal without losing myself?
I believe the answer lies in certain human qualities that can both be recognized and developed. Kipling names many of them: patience, courage, balance, honesty, the ability to dream without being ruled by the dream, and the ability to think without becoming cold. Willpower, endurance, and perhaps most of all, the strength to withstand loss and betrayal without losing the warmth of your heart.
These qualities don’t come automatically. They are shaped in silence and through hardship. They are strengthened through action, by showing up, taking risks, failing, and starting again. They require us to live with open eyes and an open heart, even when it hurts.
Stepping into unknown territory, whether literally or figuratively, is always a risk. But it is also where we grow. Courage is not a fixed trait. It is a choice you must make repeatedly. Not in triumph, but quietly: I will keep going. I will try again. I will hold on to what matters.
The journey begins when we step out of the dream space and take that first step. Then another. And another still. It’s about continuing and becoming more human along the way.
If
By Rudyard Kipling (from Rewards and Fairies, 1910)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn‑out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch‑and‑toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Featured image © Eldar Einarson
