I would like to use my blog to raise awareness about something I’ve been struggling with since the age of 38: perimenopause.
I had some knowledge before it hit me hard. I’d come across it in books and articles occasionally. I even expected it to begin around age 35. But when it finally arrived at 38, I was still caught off guard.
It began with a sudden and severe bout of insomnia. I couldn’t sleep for almost a week. I felt weak, dizzy, and disoriented. Just walking was a struggle. I went to the doctor and had all the necessary lab tests done, but everything came back “normal.”
Still, I knew something was off. So, I researched more. I found a perimenopause symptom checklist and was surprised, yet validated, to see how many of those symptoms matched my experience.
Perimenopause refers to the five to ten years before menopause. During this time, hormone levels fluctuate in irregular patterns. Every woman’s experience is different. But one thing is certain: the symptoms are often overwhelming. Many of us go through this time with no warning or explanation, unsure of what is happening inside our bodies.
Here are some of the most common symptoms of perimenopause. Many of these I have experienced myself:
Irregular periods (whether lighter, heavier, or skipped months), hot flashes and night sweats, cold flashes, insomnia or disrupted sleep, anxiety and depression, mood swings and emotional sensitivity, brain fog and forgetfulness (which is especially frustrating when you’re studying hard and trying to stay sharp), fatigue and low energy, weight gain or difficulty losing weight, decreased libido, vaginal dryness or discomfort, breast tenderness, headaches or migraines, joint and muscle aches, palpitations, dizziness or balance issues, digestive problems (such as worsening GERD, which became a major issue for me), worsening of existing conditions like asthma or psoriasis, increased impatience and irritability, and a wide range of other strange and hard-to-describe sensations.
I am now four years into this journey, and the discomfort is still very real.
Acid reflux is currently the most troublesome symptom. I never had it before. Insomnia is the next most persistent issue, though it has become more manageable. Drinking chamomile tea and taking magnesium glycinate before bed helps me sleep. I also take Vitamin D3 after breakfast or lunch, which I think has helped stabilize my mood.
My psoriasis flares up and stays for long periods. On top of the itch and pain, I also feel anxiety and depression creeping in. As a Filipina, I carry a natural resilience and sense of joy that usually sees me through difficult times. Even so, I still struggle emotionally. Some days, I feel light, energetic, and full of hope. On other days, I want to hide away and be left alone.
Just recently, I had a chat with my best friend from college. He said something that surprised me: ‘You used to be funnier than I was.’ I laughed, but I had to pause. Then I told him, ‘I’m not the same anymore. I’m in perimenopause.’
We both laughed, but the truth hit me later. I wasn’t just being funny. Back then, I felt lighter. I had mental clarity, emotional resilience, and a natural playfulness that came easily. These days, I find myself more withdrawn, more serious, and often too fatigued or foggy-headed to think of something witty to say. I’m not less of who I am. I’m simply navigating a body and mind that feel unfamiliar. Hormones have changed the way I experience the world.
After a year without a period, it’s menopause time, ladies. Then comes postmenopause—for the rest of our lives. The symptoms linger. How could we ever be the same?
Throughout all of this, I am grateful for my husband’s patience and understanding. He chooses to stay by my side as I continue to learn about what is happening to me.
I also think of my mama, who probably went through this in silence. She never talked about it, just like many women I’ve spoken to recently. During a reunion, some of my classmates also shared that they had no idea what was happening to them. This topic remains unfamiliar and is not openly discussed, especially in the Philippines.
I’m writing this post not only to share my story but also to encourage other women to be more mindful of their bodies. Track your symptoms. Support your body gently. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Talk about it. Rest when you need to. Do not ignore what you feel, and do not accept being told that you are just stressed or aging, acting up, or being dramatic.
You are not losing your mind. Your body is transforming. You are entering a new phase of womanhood.
We do not need silence. We need support, knowledge, compassion, and a safe space to understand what we are going through and to talk about it openly, without shame or confusion.
Featured image © Eldar Einarson
