Mindanao Advice

I recently read a Facebook post by the Norwegian film director, Vibeke Løkkeberg, in which she turns her gaze toward war, power, and the absence of women at the decision-making table. She questions why the very women who give birth to the state’s soldiers are excluded from decisions about war, and why, during war itself, these same women are not protected but sacrificed.

This reflection is essential—not because it says something new, but because it remains timelessly relevant.

Experience tells us there is a vast yet suppressed potential in women’s power to influence, a potential that must be awakened and mobilized. But this cannot happen in opposition to men. It must happen in cooperation with men, through dismantling power structures from within—not by replacing one form of dominance with another, but by making space for the mutual, the relational, the human.

The ability to cooperate is deeply rooted in us as a species. It is biological, like when a newborn nurses from its mother. This innate capacity for closeness and reciprocity is one of our greatest strengths. But as we grow, we are shaped by structures—cultural, social, and psychological—that erode this capacity. Power, competition, and hierarchy are learned and reinforced, often at the cost of relationships and collaboration.

It is easy to point to “man” as the bearer of this problem, and there is certainly a pattern in how masculine strategies of power have historically dominated. But the root runs deeper and broader. Women are not only victims of these structures but also participants in them through socialization and silent acceptance. The solution, therefore, lies in shared responsibility.

This is not about claiming that feminine qualities are “better,” but about recognizing that the crises of our time demand a different kind of response than the hierarchical and militaristic reflexes we know so well.

It takes courage to resist accepted truths and rediscover that compassion and cooperation are not weaknesses but sources of strength and survival.

We know that human beings are capable of cooperation. Our ability to be close, empathetic, and collaborative is inborn. Yet something happens—in how we’re raised, in the systems that shape us, in the logic of power we learn. This applies to both women and men. Cooperation is overshadowed by competition, control, and prestige.

Vibeke also raises a vital point about today’s political landscape: women in positions of power who adopt and continue the male logic. It’s a necessary observation. If political participation for women means putting on the same armor, then we haven’t truly moved forward. We’ve gender-balanced the battlefield.

But I don’t believe the path lies in replacing patriarchy with matriarchy. This isn’t about feminine values being better than masculine ones. It’s about which values humanity needs most right now—and those are cooperation, understanding, and compassion.

These values must be freed from gender and embraced as shared human ideals. This must happen from within: in everyday life, politics, families, and public discourse. It must happen through a partnership between women and men, not in opposition.

The world is still ruled by military might and nuclear arms. Threat and deterrence are the prevailing language. Yet history has shown that change is possible when people choose differently—when someone stands up and says, “Enough,” when someone reminds us there is another way, like Greta Thunberg, Malala Yousafzai, Shirin Ebadi, and Tawakkol Karman.

We don’t have to imagine what compassion looks like—it’s already happening around us. Though tightly controlled and often silenced, some Russian mothers, like those in the Committee of Soldiers’ Mothers, have begun to speak out against the war. In rare but powerful moments, there have been signs of dialogue and shared grief between Russian and Ukrainian families, often facilitated by third parties or expressed through art and activism in exile. Perhaps the first proper steps toward peace will be taken in these quiet, courageous gestures—in the mourning hearts of mothers on both sides. We see the same spirit when grassroots movements unite opposing communities to rebuild trust, or when climate activists and Indigenous leaders forge alliances to protect what cannot be restored once lost. These efforts rarely make headlines, but they are living proof that another path exists—one where the logic of dignity replaces the logic of domination. Genuine cooperation does not erase conflict; it transforms it through shared purpose and mutual care.

Let the mothers of the hundreds of thousands of soldiers sacrificed in today’s ongoing wars come together in strength and send a clear signal that they will no longer accept this.

Compassion is not a weakness. It is resistance. It is action. And it is our strongest card for surviving together.

Perhaps our greatest hope is that when the obvious becomes impossible, we finally understand what is right.

Thank you, Vibeke Løkkeberg, for keeping this fire burning.

Featured image © Eldar Einarson