How often do we forget that our life is our own? How often do we let convention and others’ opinion dictate us? I’m afraid the answer is “often” and I’m trying now to do something about it.
I was, like most of us, strictly guided and not allowed to crawl independently when I was small. My family members were so protective and would shower me with powder all over so I wouldn’t sweat. Getting mud from the playground was a big no-no because it was considered very dirty as if I would die of it. I was the cutest kid and shouldn’t do anything but to be cared for, and that is not exactly the path to independence.
As I grow up, I was encouraged all the time to act and live according to others’ expectations. That keeps me thinking that we were not actually well-trained in our homes, schools, and churches.
We should have been taught how to discover ourselves, asking first who we really are. But instead, if we want to do anything to better ourselves, we must ask permission because it might contradict the society’s values. We are tied up to living other versions of our lives when the greatest is ourselves. This makes our own development retarded. How can we let others’ design mold us?
I believe that we are born with desires to make our dreams come true, but we are programmed to just copy what others’ do. The room for individuality is very limited, and this is very common in a collective society.
It’s scary and unhealthy to go through life full of regrets and sadness for things that might have been. It’s OK to be on the safe side, but the support side caring for your individuality and talents should be in the lead, and be present from the very beginning.
Life can be a great adventure if we dare to be different, as long as we don’t harm ourselves and others. So when society pokes us with lies and hurting comments, let us just smile and advance. Let them see that we have grown wiser than them and that we own our lives. Let us show that we know ourselves well enough to insist on what we want, and to give the dream many of us still carry a fair chance.