Here in Davao, as most places in our country, it is very common to see young Filipinas together with much older foreigners. This started probably with sailors visiting our harbors and falling in love with a bar girl and decided to marry her, and live here. Later, the Internet opened up for “mail order brides”, a possibility to have a better life abroad, and at the same time secure the family back home.
The element of being locked up in a difficult life situation, being snubbed by the more well off and the possibilities of sweet revenge along with love are strong driving forces here, and the trends show that a growing number of professionals and well educated women are marrying other nationalities.
Most of my friends and classmates are married to foreigners and they have varying reasons. One of their reasons is security. This does not mean though that the Filipinas only care for the money, but admittedly, economic stability is a very good foundation of a harmonious relationship. And, it applies to any race. Smart Filipinas who are intuitive and wants a long term and prosperous relationship consider these things. As what I have observed, these Filipinas are not the lazy ones; they want to have a good life with someone they love.
Another reason (which I am guilty of) is this fairy tale thing which stems from reading a lot of romance novels since I was small, starring these handsome Vikings or Scandinavian princes. I developed an image of a guy who is distinctive and coming from a faraway land who will take me off my feet. However, I have long realized it’s a slim chance for someone like me to find someone like that online, so I quit hoping. Yet, I was still introduced by a former mentor to a lovable Norwegian man here in Davao.
The thirst for adventure has always been a part of the Filipino spirit and the Internet has been a great venue for the deeply rooted human need for love and dignity through the dating sites. And the many warnings and horror stories about failure and tragedy in the keel waters of online dating seem to have little effect.
Filipino men have got a competition that they probably won’t like. It’s a pressure on them to develop their talents in treating women well, also after marriage. Good foreigners who treat their women well enrich our culture and make it a little less macho. This I welcome very much. But I also know that many foreigners treat their women badly, and create lots of tears. Be very careful in your choice of a foreign man. Many times, the final outcome would have been much better with a Filipino.